Never get rejected again by implementing these 6 principles into your daily life

I came accross the Social Heartist John Cooper the other day, and this man is defintelly one to listen to. He is not a pick-up artist and he believes that genuine human interactions creates a real connection between people. You will never be rejected again by implementing and developing these principles or “traits” into your personality. What I mean by never being rejected is not that everyone will all the suddenly want to date you or fall in love with you, but that you don’t care if they ask you out or not. You don’t have an agenda, and you don’t expect anything from anyone but yourself. I’m gonna go through John Cooper’s 6 principles to fearless connection and explain them in an even simpler way that would be more targetted towards a female audience.

Feminine principles

1. Autonomy
   

   
   Be self-dependent. Trust yourself, rely on nobody else. Be self-contained within your own actions. We don’t need anything, or anyone else to fullfill us, we create our own happiness. The reward comes from within that moment, that interaction, and that glimps of unexpected reality.

2. Giving (unconditionally)
   

   
   Spread love, spread good vibes, give attention, share yourself with others. Be happy to give of yourself, because you are something special to share. Make people feel good about themselves, try to understand them, show them respect, approve of them, make them feel special. Create a good atmosphere around you and you will see that people will thrive to be in your company.

3. Play – with men, not against men

   
   Don’t play games or mind-tricks and try to manipulate your environment or people around you. Remember we are all individuals so let’s play and have fun together! Don’t go out there to get something, needy behavior shines through the roofes and is obvious to everyone.The narrative is created in the moment by everyone involved. The most basic freedom in play is the freedom to quit, at anytime you want. Play, first and foremost, is what one wants to do, as opposed to what one feels obliged to do.

   5 characteristics of play:

   1. Self-Chosen and Self-Directed
   2. Intrinsically motivated—means are more valued than ends
   3. Guided by mental rules, but the rules leave room for creativity
   4. Imaginative
   5. Conducted in an alert, active, but relatively non-stressed frame of mind

   Play is a free activity standing quite consciously outside ‘ordinary’ life as being ‘not serious,’ but at the same time absorbing the player intensely and utterly. It is an activity connected with no material interest, and no profit can be gained by it. It proceeds within its own proper boundaries of time and space according to fixed rules and in an orderly manner.” Johan Huizinga (1955)

Masculine principles

1. Desire (projected and unconditionally)
   

   
   You have to show the other person that you want them, or that you have an interest in them. This can be done be flirting and touching each other for example. Don’t come accross as needy. Don’t go out there and “crave” to be loved. Don’t demand anything. Show desire by flirting and creating a space for interaction that can lead to attraction. Create desire by being a uniqum that is not afraid to make a fool out of yourself!

2. Emotional Intelligence
   

   
   Be aware of your environment and social dynamics. Be empathic and compashionate, show people that you care, and that you are not a complete psychopath. John Cooper talk about that men should not expose women to an uncomfortable situation, like stalling them in the middle of the street to ask for their phone number. When it comes to men, you don’t want to take up all their time, you wanna move around like a social butterfly, interacting with other people and giving space for the guy to also have some fun and do “his own thing”. Know how you come accross to other people and how your behavior affects them.

   Try to get a holistic understanding of your surroundings. Mechanical structure don’t work, be natural and let things flow. Know when to  change subject in conversations, ask questions, move ahead, give space and so on. Be awake in the moment and feel the vibe. Listen to what is actually being said instead of waiting for your turn to talk.

3. (Taking) Action

   Don’t wait for the other person to take the lead, if you see that the moment is right, and you feel the connection between the two of you; go for it. Either it is asking for phone number, a date, a gesture or going in for a kiss. Feel comfortable in your own shoes and do what you want to do.

According to John Cooper it is important to keep a good yingyang ballance between the feminine and masculine principles, as they are equally important. Be real and authentic and keep it flowing. Stop overanalyzing and try to control everything, live in the moment and just go out there with a childlike attitude and play to have fun!

“We are the gift that we want to share with the world”,
John Cooper